Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Long time no speak eh?

I'm sorry. I'm really really truly sorry. I've neglected you . I'd like to say the reason for lack of blogging action was down to my rock and roll secret agent lifestyle - taking down evil villains and sleeping with ridiculous amounts of incredibly attractive women, but that my friends would be an outright LIE.

Truth be told, I just got lazy and occupied with work elsewhere and other gubbins that ruin your day.

But things must go on, and indeed they shall.

But where do we begin?

First of, The Dark Knight. Ah yes, The Dark Knight. The new Batman fillum. The film that's got a million fanboys (and girls) and movie critics going apeshit - mostly about how dark it is! and Health Ledger should get an Oscar!!1! and HOW FRICKING DARK IT IS!!!1!1! and it's so well written! etc.

But of course, naturally, you have all been sitting on the edge of your seat, anxiously thinking "Well, who cares about these mentalist comic fans, what the hell does the Watchmen think? Well, brace yourself, cos this film is good. But it's not *that* good.

Be warned: spoilers a plenty here:

Good things:

The Joker. Yes, yes, you've heard it all before, but he really is brilliant in this. The character is absolutely mental, and you really wouldn't want to meet him ever, cos he'd cut your face up/feed you to your dogs/kidnap your girlfriend and blow her up/fire a rocket launcher at your car/set fire to everything you own. This Joker is not fun, this Joker is fricking crazy. Ledger does a great job, and in only one scene can you actually make out it's him under all that make-up.


The Joker - a "makeup on when asleep" kinda guy.


Two Face/Harvey Dent. For me, my favourite character in the film. Aaron Echart is great in this role. As Harvey Dent, he comes across conflicted, yet driven, and three dimensional. Even knowing how things will end up for him, you hope they don't. Yet they do, and when he becomes Two Face, it is believable, and understandable how losing your girlfriend and having half your face burned off can really really piss you off.


Harvey, with a scab only a gun can itch.

The Batpod. When I first saw this I thought "Hmmm, that looks stupid" but now it makes perfect sense. The Batpod when it appears, kicks total ass. It's AWESOME. Due to the Batmobile having a slight 'issue" with a rocket launcher, Batman needs a new method of transport, and that is a turbo bike that is conveniently hidden in the front of the Batmobile. It hooks trucks, does 360 degree turns on walls, and blows stuff up. Lots of stuff. Bit nasty at avoiding people though..

Bad Things:

Batman's voice. It just sounds dumb. I understand the point behind it, but it still sounds like Bruce Wayne has been smoking 40 a day and needs a throat sweet. It just doesn't work.

Rachel Dawes: Katie Holmes was in the first one and got recast. Maggie Gillen gyllan Jillanhall whateverhernameis doesn't do anything different in the role. But she's surplus to requirements really, the whole point of her character is to GET KILLED. Yes! They kill her off. And quite spectacularly too. For it's her getting blown up into lots of little pieces that causes Harvey to go radge. I'm glad she's gone, for she was a bit naff.

Batman in Hong Kong. Yeah, that's just dumb.

The sonar vision sequence. Inconsistent and silly. Night vision would have been just as suitable, and less CGI naffness.

Chances of a sequel: Well to be honest, I can't see them topping this film. It's well written, it's well paced, and ties up all the lose plot threads by the end of the film. the only problem? Well, half the characters are dead (Harvey/Two Face and Rachel) and of course, Heath Ledger is dead, so no Joker for part three. So where do they go from here?

They could bring back The Scarecrow again, for he is terribly underused in this film, or they could introduce a new villain.. but who? My bet is The Riddler. But will they have enough story and time to introduce a new character and give him the depth and purpose of the previous films?

The other problem is, this film is so well made, they have already raised the bar for themselves to an extraordinary level. Could they top it with a sequel? Do they even want to? Time will tell.

So in closing, the film is good. It's great. Is it Oscar material? I don't think so. It still has some massive plotholes and the sonic vision sequence is silly. But that doesn't stop it from being a tense smart thriller. So go watch it already.

Also, elsewhere, the trailer for The Watchmen came out, and it looks awesome. But the thing that got me the most about the whole trailer? Not the visuals, or the actors... no, it was the fact they used a Smashing Pumpkins track as the soundtrack. Specifically The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning - which is awesome, and made me wet my fanboy pants. Because Billy Corgan is some kind of God. An angry misunderstood inconsistent God, granted. But a God nonetheless.


Billy C - a smug git.

EDIT: Jeeeeezus, looking at the previous post to this.. I really lied there didn't I?